Last Thursday night, my princess died from what we believe was internal bleeding. Some of you may remember me briefly mentioning that she took a tumble, and although she checked out fine at the vet (minus her broken leg, pictured above), it seems she sustained some undetected internal injuries. Those who follow me on other social networking sites have no doubt heard the news, and for those who have offered their condolences/support/etc: thank you SO MUCH. My own recovery from this trauma would have been nigh impossible without your support, and I really feel so incredibly lucky to have such amazing friends, both online & offline.

Momo, February 2009

The first time I met “Mattie”, I knew I was taking her home. I had responded to an ad on Craigslist that took me through a labyrinth of suburban neighborhoods behind an abandoned Suzuki dealership on I-35. When her foster owners let me in the house, I could see her little face peeking out from around the foyer. She did this up until the day she died – peeked around corners until she was invited to come closer. Although incredibly shy, she allowed me to hold her for over two hours while I talked with her owners. The following evening, after getting consent from my sister & boyfriend, we took her home and renamed her “Momo”, which is Japanese for “Peach.”

December 2010

In just a few short weeks, Momo transformed from a timid puppy to a spoiled little girl who constantly sought out affection from others. She grew to love cuddling and rough-housing. Despite being incredibly small, she loved playing outdoors, and could even run faster than my parents’ border collie. During her last day, my sister and I let her lay out on a blanket out in the sun, and as much as it pains me to say it, I’m so glad that she was able to get some fresh air in her last few hours.

Just before she died, I drove my sister to her apartment, leaving my boyfriend with Momo and telling him to make her lay down. As soon as I left, Momo refused, and sat up waiting until I got home. As soon as I got back, Momo laid down just like I told her to, and I laid down next to her for a few minutes. It was here that she died, right next to her mommy, where she felt comfortable and loved. She had been waiting for me to get home to breathe her last breath.

For a Japanese Chin, Momo was quite vocal, and would talk to us when we told her to “use her words.” Coming home to a quiet apartment, where every squeak of furniture vaguely resembles her little voice, is so incredibly difficult. I would do anything to have my baby girl back, but when I see the little wooden box of her ashes sitting near my bed, I know that it’s completely impossible.

Momo and her Totoro toy, May 2010

The only way to prepare for such a loss is to make sure that you regret nothing in their lifetime – and I can say with certainty that Momo was never refused attention or love. Furthermore, very little of her life went undocumented in photos and videos, so it will be hard to forget any little detail of her personality. I’m working on uploading more photos to my Momo Flickr album, and I upload Photobooth, iPhone pictures, and animated gifs daily to my Tumblr. Also, I have a couple of really adorable videos of her uploaded to YouTube.

Mommy loves you, baby girl. You’ll never be forgotten. ♥

I already got my first Christmas present, a pair of Free People suede booties from my boyfriend. I’d been hesitantly eyeing these for a while and finally caved, because I’d been dying for a pair of shearling-with-suede-upper boots for a while, and uggs had never truly appealed to me. They are incredibly comfortable, and though I bought them solely for utility, they’re very cute on as well!

Below is my twin sister Lulu in her Topshop turban – another piece I didn’t expect to love as much as I did.

Momo sleeping in her favorite chair as the sunlight filters through the window (take special notice of her ridiculous “pebbleteeth”):

For the past month, this has been my go-to outfit (of which I have yet to get a properly-lighted picture):

Cotton collared shirt by Helmut Lang, crew-neck sweater dress by American Apparel

Also, a few weeks ago, Sam (twitter & blog) sent me these Tibetan prayer beads from his trip to China & Tibet! These lovely traveler’s beads were also accompanied by a postcard featuring a surreal Tibetan landscape, and a Chinese metal ear-cleaner! (Perhaps the craziest and yet most unique thing I’ve received in the mail). Thank you so much!

Since this will probably be my last post before Christmas, I wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday with safe travels and plenty of good food!

I love blurry photos of Momo because she looks even more monstrous

Good luck, Momo Quasar!

Ancient Japanese screen paintings; Ike Taiga’s “First Visit to the Red Cliffs” featured above

The way the cold makes Momo’s ears extra-static-y, my boyfriend squishing my baby